Signs of a Cheating partnerOliver
Signs of a Cheating partner
Cheating spouses exploit their partner’s desire to trust. There are few hard and fast signs of infidelity.
Cues of infidelity vary widely from relationship to relationship, making it impossible to provide a useful list of behaviours that has a high degree of accuracy. In hindsight, however, the warnings signs always appear obvious.
In fact, there are so many tell-tale lists of infidelity cues that it is hard to know what to believe.
Given all the different lists that exist, it helps to keep the following in mind.
Providing a list of the signs of cheating is often counterproductive. First, any given behaviour is open to multiple interpretations. Does a spouse’s sudden interest in losing weight signal infidelity? Could it be due to some other reason?
The explanation for any behaviour is never as clear-cut as we would like to believe.
Furthermore, looking for signs of infidelity tends to fuel one’s suspicions. For instance, does your spouse clear his or her call log after each call? Dwelling on such matters tends to make people more suspicious. The way people generally handle their suspicion ends up helping a cheating spouse.
- Keep a journal of your spouse’s reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what’s said with phone bills, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, talk to other people, etc. A cheating spouse is likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record of everything is critical.
- Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the time and number of all calls.
- Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home early, etc.
- Keep track of your spouse’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, ATM withdrawals, phone records, etc.
- If you can, check your spouse’s call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name: a friend, a co-worker, etc.
- You can also purchase surveillance equipment (hidden cameras and voice activated recorders) or download computer monitoring software (keylogger) which will make it easier for you to monitor your spouse’s activities. Using such equipment can, however, can raise some legal issues
- Never confront your spouse until you’re certain that you have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence at once. Most cheating spouses will try to concoct a story to fit the evidence presented. But if you withhold some evidence, and let your spouse create a story, it gives you the opportunity to use the remaining evidence as leverage. And if you strategically withhold evidence, your spouse will start to question exactly how much you know, increasing the odds that he or she will tell you the truth.